I realized something today after laying in bed wondering when I have ever felt this bad. I need to make some changes because as I put my body through the hell of withdrawal, it will need as much energy and nutrients as it can get.
I did end my fast today at 13 hours. I did it because my body was telling me to do it. I have clearly started the worst of the withdrawal period, and the beating I am giving my body is noticeable. I have not been sleeping very well, and when I do sleep, it is troubled and violent. I’ve also had terrible headaches and a stiff neck and back. I think of the hell I’ve put my body and mind through with all this medication over the years, and I shudder. Getting clean will not be much different than anyone else addicted to drugs.
The Changes I’ve Made
In the past few years, I have made a dramatic turnaround. It started with a suicide attempt, and now I am not recognizable as the same person. I have improved my mental health to a dramatic degree. I’ve also quit a 30-year smoking habit, which is one of the reasons I know I can get through the test I am going through now.
I have changed, but I still have a long way to go. I will need to relearn how to be a valuable person without relying on pills to regulate my emotions. I’ve had many challenges with this because many times I don’t know if what I am feeling is normal or abnormal. I often have to ask my wife if I am acting appropriately given the situation. I tend to overact on my emotions, and my wife has learned to live with that.
I want to be better for my wife and daughter, for my mom and dad, and for my three boys who have only known me as a broken man. I want to have lifetime friends instead of disappearing from their lives.
I know I will only get better and I am thankful that I can do this. Many people would never have recovered from the place to which I had fallen.
Keto and Fasting
I am still going to fast, but when I do eat, it will be healthy and Ketogenic. Except for a small drink of soda at the restaurant today, I have avoided sugar and bad carbs. I think this is the biggest reason I am feeling as good as I do. I can still function mentally, I just get tired and ache all over. If I can take a nap that usually helps.
I know if I put good things in my body and feed it whole foods when necessary, I will remain healthy throughout this ordeal.
These are my stats:
- Weight: 101.3 kilos (223.33 Lbs.)
- BMI – 30.50
- Length of Last Fast – 13 hours
- Weight Lost – 3.2 kilos (7.05 Lbs.)
Today is almost a week and a half of fasting and keto. I feel good considering what I am going through right now.
After the Withdrawals
I am already planning longer fasts when I feel better. My longest has been 35 hours. I know this isn’t a contest and I need always to remember that I am doing this to get healthy. When I am old, I don’t want to suffer through the problems that many have, like heart issues.
I am older than my wife by 18 years, and my daughter is only five years old, so I need to stick around for a while.
Because of what I’ve been through, I haven’t always paid much attention to my physical health. I’ve been overweight since my late 20s, mostly due to the medications I was put on for my mental problems. There was a time I was very physically healthy, but that is long ago.
I’ll be 50 this year, and I want to get back to good health, both in body and mind. I’d like to enjoy what I time I have left and not have to worry if I will get sick. Things are looking good for me, and I want them to stay that way.
See you tomorrow!