Many times in my life I have been taught a lesson. This past week, ending with Sunday, which I call the perfect storm, was one such lesson.
Life is not always roses and kittens.
At any other time, my fasting last week, which resulted in more energy, mental focus, and physical well-being, would have been a welcome period in my life. But then happened the perfect storm. My wife and I helped someone out and had a newborn living with us. The stress of that and the friction it caused between us in our marriage, combined with our work, my fasting, and a lower dosage of medications, was almost enough to break me. As if that was not enough, late Friday, I ran out of medication and could still not manage to get in and see my doctor, even though I had been trying for some time.
The withdrawals and anxiety came on very quickly.
The result of the perfect storm was that I ate a lot of food that was not healthy for me. I soon found my stomach was not prepared for that kind of food and had stomach upset and was tied to the toilet for a while.
It is 1:43 am, Monday morning. I was awoken by an extremely bad headache (which I’ve had for two nights), and I was throwing up stomach acid. I started my 72-hour fast at 7:00 pm last night. I took some pain reliever and drank a small container of a probiotic drink. I also drank some diluted apple cider vinegar. The ACV did the trick with the acid, and my headache is slowing going away.
I am feeling extremely bloated and sick. I am guessing this is from the sugar and carbs I consumed. My anxiety is high, and I am having extreme medication withdrawals, which is much the same as they are with street drugs (from what I’ve heard).
I am sitting here, drinking chamomile tea, and debating on another shot of ACV.
I know the sickness and bloating with go away more the longer I don’t eat. I am also going to get my medication later today even if I must barge my way into the doctor’s office. One of the bad things about the Philippines is the state of its mental health care; I often have a hard time seeing my doctor and getting medication, even when I plan ahead. I also found out my doctor’s license expired, so she cannot prescribe controlled substances like the benzo I take. So, I have to see another doctor who is backlogged considerably. You might be asking, “Why don’t you just get a multi-month prescription?” The answer is that in the Philippines, doctors can only legally give you thirty days at a time. It’s good for the doctors because they can charge you a big fee every month. Don’t get me started on doctors. And I won’t even talk about drug policy. It does no good to complain.
My Stats – 6-04-2018
I just stepped on the scale, and it’s depressing. He is where I am:
- Weight: 104 kilos (229.28 Lbs.)
- BMI – 31.31
- Length of Last Fast – 6-02-2018 – 14 hours
- Weight Lost – .5 kilos (1.1 Lbs.) – I gained most of my losses back from last week. Much of this may be water weight.
I am basically starting at ground zero again. This time I am armed with knowledge and my experiences from last week. I am going to do longer fasts. I bought some pink Himalayan salt for extra electrolytes during the long fasts, and I am going to continue with the lemon water and the ACV.
More on Mental Health
You can see another reason I am anxious to get the medication monkey off my back. It seems I have to go through the pain of withdrawal every month and it’s very stressful. I am so sick that I can’t easily do the things I normally do.
I am 100% positive I don’t even need medication at this point, but I am stuck with it because I am addicted. I think the medications cause depression and anxiety more than they help. I know I need to be patient because tapering off is not easy, but it is annoying.
I am feeling sleepy, but I still have a terrible headache and my acid is still coming up. I know I am feeling terrible because of the missing medication and the sugar I consumed.
The difference between not and a few days ago is amazing.
I hope I can see the doctor today.